1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
