We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Alive.
So much puke
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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