bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
