wakey wakey hands off snakey
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I wear drunk well.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
