Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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