O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize