...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
