Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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