I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize
