Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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