so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
