Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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