His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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