I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Randomize
