I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
