I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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