So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
