Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
