all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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