so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
