If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
It's never too late to be topless.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
