just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
