Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I don't deserve a penis
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Randomize
