i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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