I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Randomize
