We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
