Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
