god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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