a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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