Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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