She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
