She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
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