Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Randomize
