After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
