Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
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