After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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