that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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