from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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