Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
