come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
