he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
