Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
My dad just said "fuck circus"
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
