singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Randomize
