would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
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