do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Randomize
