There was a lot of him and a little penis
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
