All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
