Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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