It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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