the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize