Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
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