Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
