i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I'm sobbing to NWA
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Randomize
