Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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